Wednesday 22 April 2009

Weird News - Fla. Lotto Winner Seeks to Open a Nude Dude Ranch

The Associated Press

You've heard of nude beaches, but how about a nude dude ranch? Tim Clements hit a $3.3 million jackpot in 2004, and wants to return to the farm life he grew up in. Clements and David Jennings, co-owner of the ranch, said the farm is secluded enough to be in the buff.

But they have two big problems � local zoning laws and a nudity ban in Hernando County.

Clements said they'll try to get the necessary paperwork, but if they can't get approval he'll close the CJ Ranch again to all but friends.

Though their Web site says clothing is optional, there is a caveat: Everyone "must wear pants and boots to ride the horses."

Friday 17 April 2009

Joke - The Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her Father cussed her.

�Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?�

�Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?�

The girl, crying, replied, �Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...�

�Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.�

�OK, Dad-- as ye wish.�

�I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.�

�For me little brother, this gold Rolex.�

�And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club.............. (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year�s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and.....�

�Now what was it ye said ye had become?� says Dad.

Girl, crying again, �Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.�

�Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl!�

�I thought ye said a Protestant, come here and give yer old Dad a hug.�

Good, Cheap, Fast

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