Joke - Waking Up

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife says, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says:

"HEBREWS"

Joke - Honest Bumper Stickers

-- All men are idiots, and I married their king.

-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

-- I brake for no apparent reason.

-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.

-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

-- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

-- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

-- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.

-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

-- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.

-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.

-- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

-- Keep honking. I'm reloading.